Mưa lớn, gió lớn, lớn chưa từng thấy
Gió hú, trời ảm đạm, mưa k ngớt,
Trời âm u,
Gió hú những tiếng k định hình đc
Rèm cửa, cửa sổ & nước mưa
lạnh, nhạc, và giấc ngủ chưa đến
cố lên đừng sợ nào,
chuẩn bị đi ngủ thôi
gió vẫn hú mưa vẫn rơi,
giấc ngủ đến, mọi thứ sẽ là mơ
giường lạnh, ng lạnh,
cũng sẽ chẳng sao đâu
vì còn fải thế 1 thời gian dài nữa mà
cố lên
đừng sợ nhé,
giấu nỗi buồn, nỗi sợ,
nó vẫn mãi trong ng
chấp nhận nó, sẽ là yếu đuối,
sẽ mãi k vượt wa đc
cố lên
đừng lo
mùa xuân rồi
chắc sẽ tốt đẹp hơn thôi
mùa xuân là mùa bắt đầu của sự sống mà
nhưng cũng là của chết còn j
" sống là để nuôi dưỡng cái chết" mà
ừa, ngủ hay đọc sách j đi
nhé,
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
[Mar 10, 2011] bla bla bla
Why do I have the feeling that I will not be happy-[in the future]-[in love]
Maybe it's because I read too much love[bla bla bla] novels
haha
With my characteristic & my lover
I think we will get into many many trouble later
But happy
I guess
If I'm strong enough to keep it
If I don't let go
If I hold on to it no matter what
Yes
only IF
and would it'll happy only by "IF" ?
Time will answer
But I guess I must be really strong, strong enough to let go, and strong enough to hold back
We're still young
And there're no way we can push it faster, nor slower it
Our dream, our hope, our responsible, hold us back
Our self-esteem, our boundaries, our "immature"
We are not old enough, not mature enough to do what we said, to said what we can do, and to believe what can be possible happen
We said things
We don't forget it
"Just" that we can't do it right now, like you said
You said you can't make me happy right now, you didn't forget it
So if I said I'm happy right now, would that be from another person, from another things, not you? Because like you said you can't
And I rather said I'm not happy, because I want you to bring me happiness, you, not other person or other source of things
And "If" it's too hard for you to do, "if" it's too hard for you to smile because that'll make me happy, "if" it's too hard to push aside every other feeling, just so that you can be happy with me instead of waiting for me to smile, to talk and make you happy ,
Then
I rather not to be happy
than
happy will other stuffs that I don't even know if it would be possible anyway
I'm selfish, I only thing of myself
And if I have to choose between someone who give me love and someone who make me happy
I think I'm not strong enough to make that decision
My characteristic - the protector - one of the most rarest characteristic, I think so, according to the characteristic test in psychology last year -
Would it makes me happier or would it makes me unique but alone ?
I don't know
I know that there's no such thing as a happy for ever after like in those disney movie nor such thing as a tragedy romantic love story in the novels
And what about us?
I'm not sure
But I think, for sure that
We were in love
We're in love
and We will be in love
And what happen with our love
Will be a question mark and an exclamation mark
with a heart
for sure
:)
Cheer
and
Sh!n3
Maybe it's because I read too much love[bla bla bla] novels
haha
With my characteristic & my lover
I think we will get into many many trouble later
But happy
I guess
If I'm strong enough to keep it
If I don't let go
If I hold on to it no matter what
Yes
only IF
and would it'll happy only by "IF" ?
Time will answer
But I guess I must be really strong, strong enough to let go, and strong enough to hold back
We're still young
And there're no way we can push it faster, nor slower it
Our dream, our hope, our responsible, hold us back
Our self-esteem, our boundaries, our "immature"
We are not old enough, not mature enough to do what we said, to said what we can do, and to believe what can be possible happen
We said things
We don't forget it
"Just" that we can't do it right now, like you said
You said you can't make me happy right now, you didn't forget it
So if I said I'm happy right now, would that be from another person, from another things, not you? Because like you said you can't
And I rather said I'm not happy, because I want you to bring me happiness, you, not other person or other source of things
And "If" it's too hard for you to do, "if" it's too hard for you to smile because that'll make me happy, "if" it's too hard to push aside every other feeling, just so that you can be happy with me instead of waiting for me to smile, to talk and make you happy ,
Then
I rather not to be happy
than
happy will other stuffs that I don't even know if it would be possible anyway
I'm selfish, I only thing of myself
And if I have to choose between someone who give me love and someone who make me happy
I think I'm not strong enough to make that decision
My characteristic - the protector - one of the most rarest characteristic, I think so, according to the characteristic test in psychology last year -
Would it makes me happier or would it makes me unique but alone ?
I don't know
I know that there's no such thing as a happy for ever after like in those disney movie nor such thing as a tragedy romantic love story in the novels
And what about us?
I'm not sure
But I think, for sure that
We were in love
We're in love
and We will be in love
And what happen with our love
Will be a question mark and an exclamation mark
with a heart
for sure
:)
Cheer
and
Sh!n3
Thursday, February 3, 2011
[Feb 3, 2011] Happy Lunar New Year
Năm mới
E k zui
có làm đc j khác đâu nhỉ
chỉ là đang chịu những cái e làm ng khác chịu thôi
fair mà
:)
khó chịu
k zui
năm mới
cần a
ngộ thế đấy
~~~~
Shine
có còn con ng này nữa k
chẳg bík nữa
:)
năm mới
k nghĩ linh tinh buồn bã j nữa
ngủ thôi
:)
:*:*:*:*:*:*
wish there's someway to send those to you
:)
>:D<>:D<
E k zui
có làm đc j khác đâu nhỉ
chỉ là đang chịu những cái e làm ng khác chịu thôi
fair mà
:)
khó chịu
k zui
năm mới
cần a
ngộ thế đấy
~~~~
Shine
có còn con ng này nữa k
chẳg bík nữa
:)
năm mới
k nghĩ linh tinh buồn bã j nữa
ngủ thôi
:)
:*:*:*:*:*:*
wish there's someway to send those to you
:)
>:D<>:D<
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
[Jan 12, 2011] [Blank]
It hurts more than I thought =)
Horrible than I thought =) haha
I thought, I thought what, everything is just I "thought"
I thought I could handle it
I thought I could be strong
I thought I could act like nothing happened
I thought I could be patient, be gentle about it
I thought I could hold it
I thought I won't get mad
I thought I won't cry
I thought I could hold back my tears
I thought I could ignore it
I thought
I thought
I thought
I thought I could be able to think
I thought I could be able to control myself
yea right
Just I "thought"
The truth
is always different from "I thought"
The truth
=)
It hurts, really really hurts
Hey, just less than half an hour before, you so worry what wrong with me, why didn't I reply
Not even half an hour
Hey
"Fuck life"
hey
"Get away from my life if you can't love me as I love you"
hey
"Hate you"
" I don't need you, I don't need anybody"
"Get away from me"
hey
"you know what, I don't think I have anything to share with you, so "
"YOU, live your life, live your good life, sorry, I can't live like you, I don't think you ever understand, just live your life don't need to care anything"
" I don't need anyone, I don't NEED you"
" I haven't forgot my promise, I just can't do it now"
oh
and then what
"I'm sorry, IF I made you sad"
"Don't say anything, thanks"
right, only IF, if, if doesn't have to happen
If is just a possible thing that may happen, or not
"You don't have to accept it, you don't need to, I feel bad, so I say sorry"
"Maybe you think this is an excuse or something, but I just can't say anything differently at that time"
right, right, right
You also don't have to say anything differently
You also don't have to apologize
I don't feel sad, how can I feel sad,
When you feel really really hurt, then sad or not, it doesn't matter,
because you can't really feel it anymore
Just throw all the horrible stuffs at me,
I can listen
I can't feel, so don't worry
Then if you feel bad, just throw another sorry
I don't mind
Because sorry or not,
just a word
just throw it out
done
!
Don't worry
You promise that you will bring happy to me
You said you can't do it right now
Don't worry
At least I won't break your promise
If you know, then just leave it there,
If you don't, then don't bother to think about it,
I study in AMERICA, just easy like that, I get my I-20, I go to interview, I take my air ticket, here I am, America - a place where you want to go but your family can't really afford it, a place where you want to go because you hate VN, because you get sick of it. What bad with VN, I don't know, maybe I will never know, because I'm here, in America. One has to competitive with a hundred, or even thousand of other to get a spot in university. What bad with that, I don't know.
You hate it, life doesn't give you luck, so what can I say, I am not in a position where I can say that I know, I understand, I empathy. Happy, why not!
I have brothers, sisters, parents, aunts, uncles, I have everyone that care about me. I don't have a drunk parent come home each night yelling, swearing. I don't have a burden in my shoulder. I don't have to worry about tuition money, I don't have to worry about my grade. American school doesn't as hard as your school. I have parents pay for my school, my college. I have brother pick me up after school. I have mom and dad come to visit me, whenever they have time. I have aunts and uncles worry for me when I get sick, when I spent my first holidays here. Happy, why not!
Cold, freaking cold, I have apartment to live in, with heat, a have hot soup to eat, I have warm jacket to wear even though I feel cold inside, my hand never warm, my body never feel warm, feel strong, feel comfortable, doesn't matter, isn't it, my body has a warm jacket around, it will survive, doesn't it. So bad that my heart doesn't have one, but who care if it's warm or not, I'm OK. Just leave it likes that. Happy, why not!
My stomach hurts, I stress, it hurts,
I stress, Tears fall,
I stress, my eyes red,
I stress, I can't sleep,
I stress, destroying my biological clock
I stress, my body shaking
I stress, everything around me become so cold
I stress, I listen to music whole night
I stress, I wait until midnight, after I have done a bunch of meaningless stuffs, so my mind doesn't go crazy, so that I can do something
Last Sunday, my second time staying up that late,
Don't cry
Useless
Cry inside is enough
Don't ruin a mask outside
remember
that's how you use to live
=)
Don't worry
Just find some med, my stomach will be ok too,
Just find some think to do, my brain will ignore my heart
Just sleep, my body won't say it's cold
Just ignore it, he knows what to do
=)
I'm hurt, I'm cold, I'm freezing, I'm headache, I'm tired, I'm stress, I feel lonely, I feel really really bad, really really sad, my stomach hurts a lot, I cry, a lot, every night.
Tell that to someone =)
I don't think so
Depress?
Maybe
It's not that I haven't been depress before,
For 2 years, just 4 months before, I thought I could have get away with that, 4 months without depression, now it back, doesn't seen so surprising
Horrible than I thought =) haha
I thought, I thought what, everything is just I "thought"
I thought I could handle it
I thought I could be strong
I thought I could act like nothing happened
I thought I could be patient, be gentle about it
I thought I could hold it
I thought I won't get mad
I thought I won't cry
I thought I could hold back my tears
I thought I could ignore it
I thought
I thought
I thought
I thought I could be able to think
I thought I could be able to control myself
yea right
Just I "thought"
The truth
is always different from "I thought"
The truth
=)
It hurts, really really hurts
Hey, just less than half an hour before, you so worry what wrong with me, why didn't I reply
Not even half an hour
Hey
"Fuck life"
hey
"Get away from my life if you can't love me as I love you"
hey
"Hate you"
" I don't need you, I don't need anybody"
"Get away from me"
hey
"you know what, I don't think I have anything to share with you, so "
"YOU, live your life, live your good life, sorry, I can't live like you, I don't think you ever understand, just live your life don't need to care anything"
" I don't need anyone, I don't NEED you"
" I haven't forgot my promise, I just can't do it now"
oh
and then what
"I'm sorry, IF I made you sad"
"Don't say anything, thanks"
right, only IF, if, if doesn't have to happen
If is just a possible thing that may happen, or not
"You don't have to accept it, you don't need to, I feel bad, so I say sorry"
"Maybe you think this is an excuse or something, but I just can't say anything differently at that time"
right, right, right
You also don't have to say anything differently
You also don't have to apologize
I don't feel sad, how can I feel sad,
When you feel really really hurt, then sad or not, it doesn't matter,
because you can't really feel it anymore
Just throw all the horrible stuffs at me,
I can listen
I can't feel, so don't worry
Then if you feel bad, just throw another sorry
I don't mind
Because sorry or not,
just a word
just throw it out
done
!
Don't worry
You promise that you will bring happy to me
You said you can't do it right now
Don't worry
At least I won't break your promise
If you know, then just leave it there,
If you don't, then don't bother to think about it,
I study in AMERICA, just easy like that, I get my I-20, I go to interview, I take my air ticket, here I am, America - a place where you want to go but your family can't really afford it, a place where you want to go because you hate VN, because you get sick of it. What bad with VN, I don't know, maybe I will never know, because I'm here, in America. One has to competitive with a hundred, or even thousand of other to get a spot in university. What bad with that, I don't know.
You hate it, life doesn't give you luck, so what can I say, I am not in a position where I can say that I know, I understand, I empathy. Happy, why not!
I have brothers, sisters, parents, aunts, uncles, I have everyone that care about me. I don't have a drunk parent come home each night yelling, swearing. I don't have a burden in my shoulder. I don't have to worry about tuition money, I don't have to worry about my grade. American school doesn't as hard as your school. I have parents pay for my school, my college. I have brother pick me up after school. I have mom and dad come to visit me, whenever they have time. I have aunts and uncles worry for me when I get sick, when I spent my first holidays here. Happy, why not!
Cold, freaking cold, I have apartment to live in, with heat, a have hot soup to eat, I have warm jacket to wear even though I feel cold inside, my hand never warm, my body never feel warm, feel strong, feel comfortable, doesn't matter, isn't it, my body has a warm jacket around, it will survive, doesn't it. So bad that my heart doesn't have one, but who care if it's warm or not, I'm OK. Just leave it likes that. Happy, why not!
My stomach hurts, I stress, it hurts,
I stress, Tears fall,
I stress, my eyes red,
I stress, I can't sleep,
I stress, destroying my biological clock
I stress, my body shaking
I stress, everything around me become so cold
I stress, I listen to music whole night
I stress, I wait until midnight, after I have done a bunch of meaningless stuffs, so my mind doesn't go crazy, so that I can do something
Last Sunday, my second time staying up that late,
Don't cry
Useless
Cry inside is enough
Don't ruin a mask outside
remember
that's how you use to live
=)
Don't worry
Just find some med, my stomach will be ok too,
Just find some think to do, my brain will ignore my heart
Just sleep, my body won't say it's cold
Just ignore it, he knows what to do
=)
I'm hurt, I'm cold, I'm freezing, I'm headache, I'm tired, I'm stress, I feel lonely, I feel really really bad, really really sad, my stomach hurts a lot, I cry, a lot, every night.
Tell that to someone =)
I don't think so
Depress?
Maybe
It's not that I haven't been depress before,
For 2 years, just 4 months before, I thought I could have get away with that, 4 months without depression, now it back, doesn't seen so surprising
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