Why do I have the feeling that I will not be happy-[in the future]-[in love]
Maybe it's because I read too much love[bla bla bla] novels
haha
With my characteristic & my lover
I think we will get into many many trouble later
But happy
I guess
If I'm strong enough to keep it
If I don't let go
If I hold on to it no matter what
Yes
only IF
and would it'll happy only by "IF" ?
Time will answer
But I guess I must be really strong, strong enough to let go, and strong enough to hold back
We're still young
And there're no way we can push it faster, nor slower it
Our dream, our hope, our responsible, hold us back
Our self-esteem, our boundaries, our "immature"
We are not old enough, not mature enough to do what we said, to said what we can do, and to believe what can be possible happen
We said things
We don't forget it
"Just" that we can't do it right now, like you said
You said you can't make me happy right now, you didn't forget it
So if I said I'm happy right now, would that be from another person, from another things, not you? Because like you said you can't
And I rather said I'm not happy, because I want you to bring me happiness, you, not other person or other source of things
And "If" it's too hard for you to do, "if" it's too hard for you to smile because that'll make me happy, "if" it's too hard to push aside every other feeling, just so that you can be happy with me instead of waiting for me to smile, to talk and make you happy ,
Then
I rather not to be happy
than
happy will other stuffs that I don't even know if it would be possible anyway
I'm selfish, I only thing of myself
And if I have to choose between someone who give me love and someone who make me happy
I think I'm not strong enough to make that decision
My characteristic - the protector - one of the most rarest characteristic, I think so, according to the characteristic test in psychology last year -
Would it makes me happier or would it makes me unique but alone ?
I don't know
I know that there's no such thing as a happy for ever after like in those disney movie nor such thing as a tragedy romantic love story in the novels
And what about us?
I'm not sure
But I think, for sure that
We were in love
We're in love
and We will be in love
And what happen with our love
Will be a question mark and an exclamation mark
with a heart
for sure
:)
Cheer
and
Sh!n3
